Of Anglesh, Dinglesh And Sister Babies
Thaïs will say and do anything to stay up past her bed-time. Last night, after I put on her pyjamas and got her ready for bed, she tried to have a conversation with one of her imaginary friends. She flipped open her toy cell phone and said, “Hello… hmm… yes. OK… bye.”
That was when I made the biggest mistake of my life. OK… the biggest mistake of that night… Asking her who she was talking to as I switched off the lights. Now, I’m giving you the abridged version. Our actual conversation went on much longer since my little darling has a tendency to repeat herself.
Thaïs: That’s my fwend.
Me: Oh. What’s your friend’s name?
Thaïs: Um… Anglesh.
Me: Is your friend a boy or a girl?
Thaïs: He’s a boy.
Me: I see… and where is he?
Thaïs: He’s… er… he’s far away.
Me: What’s he doing there?
Thaïs: He’s gone to find a sister baby.
Me: A sister baby?
Thaïs: Yes. For me to play with.
She opens up her phone again and has another inane conversation.
Me: Now what’s Anglesh saying?
Thaïs: Huh?! That was not Anglesh. That was my other fwend.
Me: Who?
Thaïs: Er… Dinglesh.
Me: Is Dinglesh a boy or a girl?
Thaïs: A boy.
Me: And what is Dinglesh doing?
Thaïs: He’s also looking for a sister baby for me.
Me: I see. And what are you going to do with all these sister babies?
Thaïs: I’ll play with them. Cricket and golf and batminton.
Me: Hmm… both sister babies… Don’t you want a brother baby?
Thaïs: No. I want sister babies. Wait. Don’t talk. My phone is winging.
After hanging up…
Thaïs: That was my other fwend.
Me: What’s his name?
Thaïs: Er… Inglesh.
Me: Does Inglesh speak English?
Thaïs: What?! What you saying, Tana? Don’t talk all yubbish!
Me: I’m not talking rubbish. What language are we speaking in right now?
Thaïs: I don’t know. Daddy, what er… wang-idge are we speaking?
Mario: English.
A pause…
Thaïs: No! That’s my fwend’s name!
Me: You told us your friend’s name was Inglesh.
Thaïs: OK… Sowwy!
Me: That’s OK. Have Anglesh and Dinglesh found your sister babies?
Thaïs: Not yet… I don’t know what they’re doing… Wasting my time…! Bloody swines…! Bassads…! I’m going to fire them!
