Adult Diapers

Thaïs caught me putting away some er… unmentionables… the other day. OK… OK… they were sanitary napkins.

“Whose are these?” she asked me.

“They’re mine,” I said.

She put out her hand. “Can I have one?”

Knowing full well that downright refusal would be a big mistake, I gave her one. She looked at it, turned it over and said, “But it’s… it’s like… a diaper! You’re using diapers!? Why? Because you’ll mess your pants?”

She had a good laugh after that. Correction… we all did!

Outsmarted! – 2

A few days ago I had to go into town to get some work done, and I decided I’d be able to get more done if I left the little one at home with Mario. So I waited for her to fall asleep in the afternoon and I slipped out.

Unfortunately, it took me longer than I had expected to complete all my chores and Thaïs woke up while I was still out. The first thing she usually does when she wakes up is look for me. And that’s exactly what she did. She poked her head into each of the rooms and bathrooms calling out to me and at the same time asking Mario where I had gone. Fearing a tantrum, Mario told her I had gone next door and that I’d be back soon.

Thaïs looked at him for a few seconds as if wondering whether to believe him or not. Then she went to the balcony and looked out. She came back in. “She’s at the neighbor’s?” she asked Mario, double-checking.

“Yes,” he said.

“But she’s taken the car. It’s not outside… I think she’s at Grandma’s house…!”

(BTW, there was no tantrum. She played happily till I got back.)

Outsmarted! – 1

I was clearing up Thaïs’ playroom yesterday and thought I’d ask her to help out. Now I do get her to clear up her mess occasionally, and she obeys, but on each of those occasions there had been just a few toys lying around so it wasn’t too daunting a task for her and she’d manage to get the room cleared up pretty quick.

Yesterday, however, was a different story. It seemed as though she had dumped the entire contents of her toy chest on the floor. And since she wasn’t playing in the room any longer, I thought I’d get the place cleared up. I groaned looking at the mess and decided to get my revenge. “Thaïs,” I called out. “Please pick up all your toys and put them in the toy chest. I’m coming back into the room after 10 minutes and I expect the mess to be cleared up. If I see any of your toys on the floor, I’m going to throw them out. Do you understand?”

“What? Throw them out? Where?” she asked.

“In the garbage.”

Her eyes widened in shock. “I’ll tell Daddy,” she threatened.

“Please go ahead. And while you’re at it tell him to come in here and take a look at this mess.”

She looked around the room. “Err… no. He’s busy. Don’t disturb him. But I need them… I’m still playing, Mummy.”

“You can’t be playing with all these toys at the same time. Come on now… start clearing up.”

After a little more coaxing she agreed to clear up the room.

I went back after about 10 minutes. My dear daughter had indeed started clearing up. The only difference was, all the toys that had previously been on the floor were now piled up on the table, the couch, and her mini easy-chair. Her toy chest was still empty. “But Mummy, you said no toys on the floor…!”

Is It A Leonardo? Is It A Picasso? No, It’s A Thaïs!

Thaïs has been playing around with ‘cray-horns’ for a few months now. She has several coloring books, but I guess the joy that comes from scribbling on clothes, walls, chairs, tables and the floor is too great to resist. As a result, her coloring books are almost as good as new – if you don’t consider the food stains, spit marks (don’t ask!), and dog-eared corners thanks to the unnecessary flipping of pages. Yesterday, she picked up a pen and the newspaper and created her first masterpiece all by herself. She calls it ‘Daddy’.

OK… OK.. To me it’s a masterpiece. BTW, those appendages at the bottom of the figure are Daddy’s legs. Yup! Coming right out of his head!

He Came In Through The Bathroom Window

At least, I’d like to think it was a ‘he’.

I’m talking about a frog that had been in my bathroom since the day I got back from my two-week trip out of town. The day I arrived I ran into the bathroom and would have run right back out, had it not been a poo or die situation. I could have used one of the other bathrooms in the house, but there’s something supremely satisfying about sitting on one’s own throne, and having been away for two weeks, I’d suffered enough.

So there I sat, one eye on my book and the other on the frog perched up on the window sill. I quickly realized this wouldn’t work. Having to constantly watch the frog, was having an adverse effect on my bowel movements.

Shower time was even more trying as it meant having to stand about a foot away from the window, that much closer to the creature with the glittering, protruding black eyes.

Thaïs, to my amusement/horror/disgust (I’m not sure which), wanted to reach out and touch it.

I told Mario about my predicament. Mistake No.1. His reaction was typical, “Hmmph! It’s a harmless frog. Don’t tell me you’re scared of that little thing?!”

Scared? Not at all. I’ve spent years in the lab dissecting the poor amphibians. I just didn’t want that slimy thing jumping on me while I was unwinding with a steamy hot shower.

Anyway, I decided to leave the window open so it could escape on its own. So for the next few days I’d open the window in the morning, keep checking on the frog every few hours, and the instant I realized it had jumped out I’d shut the window.

Unfortunately, my plan failed miserably, because every night the frog would be right there in his favorite spot on the window sill, glaring at me with his beady eyes.

I asked Mario why the frog kept coming back. Mistake No. 2. “I think it’s looking for a warm moist place to hibernate,” he said grinning wickedly.

It was several days later that I realized how I was being outwitted by the frog. On closer inspection of the window frame I found a 1″ x 1″ gap between frame and wall at the upper right hand corner. Now I was getting somewhere. The next time the frog went out on its daily jaunt, I plugged the gap and voila! Success at last!

Needless to say, Mario hasn’t stopped kidding me since.

I Want To Get High

I’ve been back, what? Five days? And I’ve had to deal with my darling almost-three-year-old daughter telling me that she wants to get high. “Tana, I want to get high.”

She has been going on and on like this about 10 times a day. I couldn’t take it any longer. This morning I finally asked her why getting high was so important to her.

“So I can play basketball, Mummy!!”

Now, wasn’t that obvious? Silly me!

Home Sweet Home

Ahh!!! It’s good to be back! Had to make an emergency trip out of town from the 20th of December right up to the 5th of Jan.

It wouldn’t have been so bad except for the fact that I missed the Christmas and New Year celebrations with Thaïs. I was really sad about that, but apparently she had fun going to all the Christmas parties around town.

She told me how she ‘shooked hands’ with ‘so many Santa Clauses’ and wished them all a ‘Mewwy Chwissmiss’.

She has learned a couple of new things in our absence. Mario asked his mum to check her shoe size ‘coz we wanted to get her a new pair. Rather indignantly she asked, “Why are you documenting my feet?”

Thanks to my sister, every time she burps she now announces to all in the room, “My mama doesn’t teach me any manners!”

Yes… It’s good to be back!