He Came In Through The Bathroom Window

At least, I’d like to think it was a ‘he’.

I’m talking about a frog that had been in my bathroom since the day I got back from my two-week trip out of town. The day I arrived I ran into the bathroom and would have run right back out, had it not been a poo or die situation. I could have used one of the other bathrooms in the house, but there’s something supremely satisfying about sitting on one’s own throne, and having been away for two weeks, I’d suffered enough.

So there I sat, one eye on my book and the other on the frog perched up on the window sill. I quickly realized this wouldn’t work. Having to constantly watch the frog, was having an adverse effect on my bowel movements.

Shower time was even more trying as it meant having to stand about a foot away from the window, that much closer to the creature with the glittering, protruding black eyes.

Thaïs, to my amusement/horror/disgust (I’m not sure which), wanted to reach out and touch it.

I told Mario about my predicament. Mistake No.1. His reaction was typical, “Hmmph! It’s a harmless frog. Don’t tell me you’re scared of that little thing?!”

Scared? Not at all. I’ve spent years in the lab dissecting the poor amphibians. I just didn’t want that slimy thing jumping on me while I was unwinding with a steamy hot shower.

Anyway, I decided to leave the window open so it could escape on its own. So for the next few days I’d open the window in the morning, keep checking on the frog every few hours, and the instant I realized it had jumped out I’d shut the window.

Unfortunately, my plan failed miserably, because every night the frog would be right there in his favorite spot on the window sill, glaring at me with his beady eyes.

I asked Mario why the frog kept coming back. Mistake No. 2. “I think it’s looking for a warm moist place to hibernate,” he said grinning wickedly.

It was several days later that I realized how I was being outwitted by the frog. On closer inspection of the window frame I found a 1″ x 1″ gap between frame and wall at the upper right hand corner. Now I was getting somewhere. The next time the frog went out on its daily jaunt, I plugged the gap and voila! Success at last!

Needless to say, Mario hasn’t stopped kidding me since.